30 things I wish I would have known and believed before I was 30.

Seeing that I am 28 and alomost 29, I have a few years left of what I would like to call "The realm of youngness." Therefore, I have decided to compose a lengthy list of everything I wish I would have known in my early childhood, tweens, teens and twenties. So here we go.


30.Try out for everything you ever wanted to try or be in no matter how embarassed it makes you. You will regret every second you didn't. This includes high school/ college musicals, advanced dance, cheerleading, sports, prom queen, etc.. Throw caution to the wind.

29. Listen to your parents when they tell you school and good grades are important later in life.

28. When a guy/girl breaks up with you, take it as a win and move on. The one that breaks up with you almost always at some point regrets the decision and you don't have to worry about regret because you know you gave it your all.

27. Smile at everyone. I don't care if you are having the shittiest day in the world. A smile goes a long way with anyone. Someone else might be having a shitty day too and your smile could be worth a million bucks in someone's life.

26. Stop thinking about who you are going to end up with and live in the moment. Bask in the randomness and excitement of not knowing where your life will take you.

25. When you get the opportunity to go on an incredable trip out of the country say for instance to London, England, quit worrying about boys and friends and drama and appreciate the view.

24. Take lots and lots of pictures.

23. Don't waste time crying over stupid boys and mean deceitful friends. Just remember it always comes back to bite them.

22. Choose your friends wisely.

21. Say what's on your mind when it's necissary. But try not to hold back. Just tell the truth. Even if it means losing something to gain respect.

20. Eat delicious food and stop worrying so much about your appearance. Enjoy the taste of life. Ashley, there is this thing called exersise.

19. Always shower daily, wear deoterant, and don't shave your eyebrows off and draw them on with a lip liner pencil.

18. When you have kids, try to document everything they say and do. You forget alot of cute stuff if you don't.

17. When you get to be about twenty-five or so, you start appreciating your friends that have stuck around. Appreciate them before if you remember.

16. Michael Jackson dies in your lifetime, so try to meet him before then if you can. As well as any other idol/favorite people.

15. Learn to enjoy hugging. It's never going to go away and people need it from you.

14. When a guy you are dating calls you fat or says anything durogatory to you run, don't walk away from him and never look back. You don't need that asshole in your life. Complete waste of time.

13. Go to Disneyland and the beach as much as possible.

12. Find the good in people. Even if it means looking past their political and religious points of view.

11. Go to as many concerts as you possibly can.

10. Listen.

9. When you have kids,stop and play with them. Try not to yell too much at them either. They are just little.

8. Stand up for your sisters and friends no matter what the cost.

7. Don't beat yourself up on things you just couldn't accomplish or do at the time such as breast feeding.

6. Have sex as much as possible. (Okay within reason)

5. Gain knowledge on sex before having it.

4. Vote for what you stand for.

3. Listen to music every chance you get.

2. Read as many books as you can.

1. Laugh as much as possible. Even if you are the only one in the room.

Meet-and-Greet

Greet
/grēt/
verb
verb: greet; 3rd person present: greets; past tense: greeted; past participle: greeted; gerund or present participle: greeting1. give a polite word or sign of welcome or recognition to (someone) on meeting

I have always considered myself a very privileged person. From the time I was born to the present, I have pretty much gotten whatever I have wanted within reason. Some of it is due to the fact that my Mom never wanted me to want for anything, other privileges just kind of fell into place such as marrying who I did. My husband Jake, is a very hard working man. He has gotten everything he has wanted through hard work and dedication. But that's a different story. The reason why I bring this up is because my husband works in radio. He worked hard to get where he is and admittedly I totally reap the benifits. And what that means to me is I pretty mcuh get to meet any famous music artist I want who comes into town. I have met and taken pictures with musicians like: Kelly Clarkson, Hanson, Bruno Mars, FUN.,Macklemore and Ryan Louis,OneRepublic, Sara Barielles, 311, John Mayer, Blink 182, Kat Graham, Rita Ora, Chris Allen, Steven Tyler, Ellie Goulding, Phillip Phillips, Ben Folds Five, Guster, Bare Naked Ladies, Ja rule, Train, Neon Trees, Kate Nash, Grace Potter, Michael Franti, Nicki Minaj, JoJo, Adam Lambert, Orianthi, Taylor Swift, Demi Levato and Vanessa Carlton just to name a few. The reason I bring this up on my blog today is not to brag at this point, but talk about human beings vs. celebrities when it comes to "meet and greets."
For those of you who don't know what a "meet and greet" is, it's basically where winners of a radio, tv, or other promo get to go and supposedly meet the celeb they won the meet and greet with, and take a picture/autograph with them. In your mind you have thought about this moment all through out your life. "If I ever get to meet my favorite singer, this is what I will say and we will become best friends and he or she will call me and maybe take me on tour with them and it will be my dream come true because he or she writes great songs so obviously they are great people who care about everyone". Never turns out as expected and because of this, I have now realized most famous people "musical artists" are full of complete shit. The real definition of a "meet and greet" is this:
1. The beyond grumpy tour manager takes the group of winners and hurdles them into a shitty room like cattle while you sit for AT LEAST a half hour while the artist is doing who knows what the fuck in his or her tour bus. (Who the hell do they think they are wait to meet them? Did Jesus come and visit them in there dressing room?)
2. Finally the artist moseys on out like God's Gift to the World and stands by the back drop with his or her posse, (usually a body guard and a publicist of some sort and sometimes the artist is drunk or high as fuck I might add and you can smell it on them) while the tour manager gets you in a line to take picture in groups of people you don't know so you don't have to waste the artist's precious time with individual shots.
3. You wait in the line of winners and finally you get to where you take a picture with the artist and it's really quick. Usually if the artist is somewhat of a good actor/actress they make you feel like they kind of like that you are there taking a picture of them with a simple nod or hey how's it goin' but most of the time they have this attitude like "Ugh when is this going to be over"? Nice right? So not only did you waste your whole week picking the perfect outfit in hopes they will notice you and want to become best friends because they too like the color blue, but you got your hopes up in thinking they actually gave a shit about their fans. Such a disappointment.
4. After you take a picture or get an autograph (from a celeb who for some reason is too good for a photo) the angry/scary/grumpy tour manager rushes you out of the room like you are a terrorist.
5. At least pretend to care.

So basically after all that work of winning the chance to meet your favorite singer, taking all that time to pick out the perfect outfit and brag to your friends and find a sitter for your children, you feel like shit after. You feel like a needle in a haystack and that you are a worthless peice of garbage. I have been to so many meet and greets now that every time I go I question why I went, (let's be honest I went to get a picture with the artist so I can post it on fb later to brag about it to the world when in actually reality, it kind of sucked).
I tell this to some people and they say "well you have got to look at it from their perspective. Meeting a bunch of people every single day and signing autographs and stuff would get tiring after a while." And I always say this, " I don't give a shit if you are tired of meeting people. It's your job. Act like you give a shit. Act like you are happy to see someone. Most likely this person has looked up to you for years and all you can say is hey with a blank look on your face? How non nostalgic of you. Not to mention you are getting payed a heep load of money to shake twenty people's hands who look up to you."
Meet and Greets have really disheartened me from celebs and musicians. Here you are thinking you are going to meet this really cool person and then come to find out you meet this tired, blank expression, full of themselves artist who couldn't give a flying fuck about you. Oh and by the way, anyone they have on their team such as a grumpy tour manager or publicist gets directly put back on the artist in my mind because they hired the son-of-a-bitch to be mean so they didn't have to do the dirty work. I see right through you! And it makes me not want to listen to the meet and greet artist's music anymore. If I had actually won tickets to meet you, I would be so incredably pissed off if I took the time to win the tickets and an artist treated me that way.
I do have to give props to two artists on my long list for actually acting like they somewhat cared: the band FUN. and surprisingly John Mayer for not showing up totally baked the first half. And there are a few others who were better then most but still, really? I'm still waiting for the "Hey thanks for paying to see me in concert and for appreciating my music" phrase which I don't think I will ever get.

Alcoholic

alcoholic
noun : a person who frequently drinks too much alcohol and is unable to live a normal and healthy life : a person who is affected with alcoholism

There are many different kinds of music that talk about and glorify partying and drinking as if it was cool to do it everyday all day. There's the country song that talks about drinking your sorrows away, the rock song about meeting the crazy hot girl at a party and having a drink with her, then there is the hip hop/ rap song that continually brags about what kind of liquor bottle they're having for the evening (mostly high end shit no one can afford) and how drunk they get while drinking said liquor bottle, either way, we are no strangers to how glorifying alcohol can be. Don't get me wrong, rap music is one of my favorite types of music, because just like alcohol, you can listen to it and get lost in the beat of the song and forget about your troubles for a short while. But yes it's true, alcohol, has and always will be a valued substance that aides in helping you let go of what you don't want to deal with or think about. But when is it too much? I think we all question this topic. I ask this question because I know so many people that take it too far and still think they're fine and it's totally normal to drink a bottle of vodka a day. There is no problem with that. I'm sure you are probably wondering why I chose to write a blog on the topic of alcohol at all and well, I am kind of wondering this myself actually. But what the hell. I think it's important to speak and write with passion, and this is something I have always wondered about because I honestly don't know a whole lot about it. All I know is that if taken too far, alcohol can destroy and devastate human beings. I am going to start off the post by telling anyone reading this that I have only gotten drunk a total of one time. I am not trying to brag about my non-drinking ways, I am just simply stating that I am not the perfect judge of what it means to be freed by alcohol. I have tried different drinks here and there, but alcohol has never really appealed to me. I have many friends and family who drink for fun, or drink to feel good and let go for a night, but then there are those friends and family members who have a problem. So I feel like maybe writing about it will help me clear what has been on my mind for a while. Side note: for those of you that don't believe alcoholism is a real disease I feel sorry for you, because, it is a very real disease and now more then ever, I think people need to realize it.
When I was nine years old, my uncle my Mom's older brother died of an alcohol and drug cocktail. I am assuming you get what I mean when I say alcohol and drug cocktail right? No need to elaborate. He was 41 years old and left behind three children. One of which was just two years old. I remember sitting at his funeral when I was nine and seeing the looks on my cousin's faces. I will never forget how sad and lost they looked. And I remember not really comprehending what effect this would have on my family long term. I just remember my Mom having random sobs and break downs for a long time after. Their sadness turned into anger later on and I will never forget how angry they were and still are at him. It's been years and I still sense the anger and hurt every time someone brings him up at a dinner or family event. My cousins will never have their Dad. I remember bitching at some point to my cousin about my Dad and I remember her saying something to me like "At least you have a Dad. You have no idea what it's like to lose your Dad and you will never understand." That is really when I really started to understand the effects of alcoholism.
I use my uncle as an extreme example, however, my family and I are no strangers to being witnesses of what alcohol can do to people's lives. I talk about my uncle to my mom now and in hindsight, I still think she is just so furious at him for leaving his family behind. My dad and I always joke about when my mom gets up to heaven the first thing she is going to do is find her brother and smack him across the face for leaving her family with this heartbreak. My grandma use to refuse to go to movies for a long time since my uncle passed away because it would make her stop her life, and sit down and think. I can't even imagine losing a child. Has to be the worst possible thing in the world. Let alone losing a child to substance abuse. Something which at the beginning, could have been preventable. My grandma always tells me "He was addicted with the first drink". I'm sure we all know someone who has lost a loved one due to alcoholism. And it's funny how lightly we take the subject. "Oh yeah, he was an alcoholic, so it was just a matter of time." But what is the definition of an alcoholic? Someone who cannot stop right? You always here too much of anything can kill you. Everything in moderation. But if we know how dangerous this drug can be (Yes everyone, if you did not know, alcohol is considered a drug) then why do we still do it to ourselves? There is the argument that it helps calm you down, but there are a lot of things that help calm you down. Go for a hike, watch a great show, call a friend. I don't know, I am a total skeptic about this subject.
I have always been the outsider looking in. I was and always have been the one at parties who has the privilege of watching people having the time of their lives and making a complete ass of themselves while indulging in what we call "Gettin' crunk or fucked up!" It's humorous for a while when everyone is touching and dancing and laughing loudly, but then I have to ask myself, is this it? Is this how people get to the point where they can actually feel pure enjoyment in their lives? Are we so far gone sad and depressed about our day to day lives that we have to rely on substance to make us feel good and human again? Or is there more to life then numbing one's self? Please don't feel as though I am criticizing you that is not my intent because believe me, I have my fair share of using some form of substance to feel alive. (Ehem coffee and Diet Coke for starters) but if we know the effect it can have on people's lives if taken too far, then why do we even indulge in alcohol? Why even have the first drink? I am honestly asking because I don't understand. When we drink alcohol some people think we become the best/fun versions of our selves because we let go of every set back. We forget everything, throw caution to the wind, and let loose. There are many friends of mine with whom I don't know their real personalities when they are not drunk, in fact, I cannot even tell if they are drunk or sober. I recently went to a party where I watched one of my best friends go from high to low in an hour, and I remember staring at her at her lowest, throw up all over her and sobbing about her kid she might lose in an up coming custody battle, and I remember thinking "Is this what you wanted for your party you worked so hard on? To be drunk and throwing up in bed not able to move and spouting out ridiculous things that make no sense while everyone is around you? watching?" To me, that is no party. That is a nightmare. But what I wonder is, do we drink because it helps us to see reality for what it is? Does it just numb the pain that comes with the reality? When I stared at her sobbing and really listened to what she was saying, I realized this was what I had been wanting to hear from her for a long time. This was the reaction I was looking for about her son being taken away. It was like when alcohol got in her system, she could finally face what she had been pushing away. But as I watched her more, it broke my heart. She seemed so lost.
A temporary high really. But is it worth risking? A lot of close friends and family tell me they have a glass or two of wine with dinner every night and I ask why? Their reply is always "It calms me." or "I like the taste." When I hear this from my family especially I always reply (hopefully in a non judge mental fashion) "yeah but if you know you have alcoholism in your family, is it worth the risk?" Then they usually get pissed and that's the end. But really though, is it worth it? Worth risking your control over your life? I am beginning to think it isn't. When you think of an alcoholic, you think of someone who is poor and dirty and wanders the streets with a bottle in a paper sack spouting out obscenities and slurs but I think we all know, that is not the true definition of an alcoholic. A true definition of an alcoholic is a person who cannot be normal without it. A person who no matter what they do cannot stop drinking. This is my family, my friends, my co workers my neighbors, my peers. They say alcohol is a numbing substance. A self medication. But I think it's the opposite. It is a trap you set for yourself. A rabbit hole. A beginning to no end. Yes, there is a sense of freeing the mind when you are buzzed or plastered, but there is a better sense of freedom when you have nothing to hold you back in life. Especially not alcohol. It ties you down, it weights you. I might sound harsh but I think some people need to hear what I am trying to spell out. It's not worth it. I have heard lots of people say suicide is a selfish thing to do, which I totally disagree with because it is caused by mental illness. But alcoholism is a mental illness too. And if you know you have it in your family, there is no point in starting. I don't think people are aware of how dangerous this particular drug really is. I recently heard that alcohol poisoning is third leading cause of preventable death. Preventable is the key word here. Alcoholism is a sneaky disease. Almost everyone drinks right? It's far more overlooked then any other drug. But Honestly, it is the most dangerous because of that. I beg you to please not think I am trying to criticize, because trust me, that is the last thing I want to do, all I am trying to say is be careful. Love yourself. Don't rely on drinking to make you who you are or it could become who you are. Live life to the fullest right? Love more and give your family and friends the decency of sticking around.

Top 10 Reasons Why Life is Great When You're on a Soap Opera

Dear Sally (my diarie's name I just gave her),

I have been pondering some pretty complex things in my mind this evening and I ran acrossed a thought,soap opera stars must have exceedingly spectacular lives and here are 10 reasons why:

10. If your soap opera that you were luckily casted in turns out to be a hit for cat ladies, women who were born in the 50's, and recently divorced/layed off women who actually watch daytime television, then you have a set job for life.

9. You are famous, but not the annoying famous where paparazzi stalk you and your children non stop. You can live a normal life.

8. You get payed shall we say more than us midddle/lower classers for life.

7. You get to make out or "fake bang" with hot people, numerous sexy hot people. Sometimes both sexes now adays.

6. If you are on a soap opera you imediately get put on the top of a cougar's bucket list.

5. You still get to go to things like The Emmy's and rub shoulders with the A-listers.

4. You can age and the writers just make it part of the show.

3. You can be a bad actor and it doesn't matter because you are preaching to the choir.

2. You always have an open invite to be or even star in a lifetime made for tv movie.

1. You get to film cheesy Christmas episodes every year.

Selfie

It has taken me two years to finally get up the courage (and the non laziness) to create a blog from which I would actually post in. However, I promised myself that this blog will not be narrowed down to be about just one topic like family or vacations, or movies and music, or ranting and complaining, food, fecal matter, and all other typical topics. Instead, it will be about whatever the hell I want it to be about. Any subject I feel I want to bitch or rave about at the moment will be a part of this blog. From movie reviews to political topics to meeeting famous celebs (which weirdly enough I seem to meet alot of) to my family and friends. It will all be mangled up into one crazy cat lady rant. So buckle up and hold on for the most random ADD blog feed you have ever read in your entire life! And also I would like to apologize for my horrible formatting and grammar. I only have an Associate's Dregree from a community college what did you expect? With that being said I feel inclined to talk about selfies.
For those of you that don't know what a "selfie" is, it is basically a close up picture that is usually taken with a smart phone of yourself usually in a really obvious normal place like a bathroom or a bedroom or a swimming pool or a kitchen or an amusement park. I myself have only taken two "selfies" and posted them before. One when I got a new hair cut and I wanted to see what it looked like and thought I actually looked half decent with it so in a spur-of-the- moment thing, I posted it on facebook and instagram. One of two things happened. One person liked it, and my sister called me and told me I looked like my crazy aunt in the picture. Well, there went that dream of becoming fond of selfies. The second picture was when I had lost some weight and I wanted to see what I looked like with a new dress on for my Valentine's Date with my husband. It went something like this: Click turn, bad angle, click pout lips, I look fat, click, suck in, I look tired, click smirk, I look like my crazy aunt. No post. So I've come to the conclusion I hate selfies. I tried it. Never turned out right. In a way I find selfies very humorous. No one pouts their lips like that in real life. ( apologies to my friends that take dozens of selfies ahead of time for I am about to rip you somewhat apart)
The internet is an incredible thing. You can find someone on Facebook that you went to high school with, go through all of their pictures like a mini stalker, find out they have not changed a bit since high school and in fact, somehow they look better then ever. Then I run into them at a movie theater or in my case a high school reunion and realize the picture or pictures on their profile are a complete scam. I am almost positive it took them at least two hours to post the damn selfie because they were busy finding the right angle and lighting to make themselves look perfect. I just have one question for all you selfie-ers out there, where do you find the time? Are you laying in bed at the end of a long day looking at yourself in the mirror saying I look hot right now, I'm going to post a selfie of myself on facebook for all of my friends and old crushes to see. Alone. With no friends, kids, husband, or dog around to be in the picture with you. How pretensious is that? There have been times when I see my friends (most of whom are ironically enough married with kids) that post these "hot come hither" facebook selfies at 2AM while they are lying in bed. What the fuck are you doing? 2AM? Really? Is your husband or significant other taking the pic? Is it that important that you have to go get your phone,fix your hair so it's somewhat saying your "Hey WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD, I just had satisfying sex and I need to take a pic to finish!" , and then, pout your lips and give a gaze into the camera at an "artsy angle" to make it look like it's completely normal for you to be doing that at two in the morning. Let me tell you something, It's completely not normal! In fact,it looks like desperation or like you need attention. I even hate it when friends ask me to be in close up pictures with them taken with a smart phone. I hate seeing it on other people's facebook, why on earth would people want to see that? Don't get me wrong, I like looking ast people's pictures of their kids and their nights out on the town and their vacations and so on, but I am so sick of seeing people's akward, unrealistic smartphone shots of themselves in the bathroom of a Chucky Cheese. I do have to say though, when friends are drunk, I give them a free pass to the selfie world because they know not what they do.In the morning however, I hope you realize you look like an idiot. Sure, an occasional pic here and there with you wearing mickey ears at Disneyland in front of Splash Mountain is fine, or hey, I just had a baby here is a pic of him and I! But every week, trying to look like a cover girl model or posting a naked picture of yourself, gross. Stop it! Maybe I am jealous that people can find that amount of time alone without being interrupted to take a "perfect" pic of themselves and post it with out having children screaming every five seconds, "Mommy, why do you keep taking pictures of yourself?" I would rather see ten pictures of your cat every day then see one selfie a month. As much as I hate selfies, I enjoy reading the comments after because you know the selfie taker bathes in the compliments. For instance,some random chic from high school might say, "You look sexy in this pic! Have you lost weight?" Or the random creepy guy you met at work and forced you to be friends with him on fb because if you didn't it would be akward every day at work usually says something like "Growl I'm into that, wanna go get a coffee tomorrow?" Or your creepy uncle who never leaves the basement says "Wow you are definately an adult now." Or there is always some creepy random person that you havent talked to in ten years but somehow becomes your friend on fb and says something like: "Damn girl you hella fine. Your husband is a lucky man". Either way, Selfies are a no go for me. And a bit annoying to view when my friends that I thought were normal turn out to be selfie takers. Not that there is anything wrong with taking a random sexy, unrealistic picture of yourself in your bedroom while your husband is downstairs working on a project and your children are playing in the other room for the whole world to see. Just sayin.